Identify.

I identify with a culture that wants, needs, understands and practices selfless love.
I identify with a value system that honors loyalty, courage, promises and dogs - not color, sex, money and control.
I identify with marriage as something you do not commit to without wanting to marry yourself first.
I identify with spirituality as something that is sacred, personal and keeps one centered.
I identify with if you were not taught healthy boundaries, there is nothing wrong with silence to learn them.
I identify with exterior beauty meaning NOTHING without interior beauty.
I identify with a person being most beautiful when they fight dis-ease with grace.
I identify with a culture that comes together in moments of crisis.
I identify with age and youth being a state of mind.
I identify with if one decides to love life like a child, it is in good health to be childlike instead of childish.
I identify with education being a right to everyone.
I identify with being intelligent as completely different than being smart.
I identify with seeking psychotherapy to keep up with your emotional health.
I identify with material wealth as NEVER being more important than human touch and kindness.
I identify with life being what we make it to be.

Exaggerations.

Presence.

It can eat ...




It can float...




It can divide...




It can excite...





It can move.

Mr. Moon.

As I turn another page to solidify knowledge about
the nervous system,
a healthly level of blood pressure against the vessel walls,
and vital capacity of the precious lungs,
the "anticipatory effect" takes over.
(Most commonly referred to as the emotional heart rate).

I sit back and wander for a moment...
I can see the azure mantle that frames
you,
music flowing like visual ripples around your oasis.

You stand proudly upon the stage,
allowing the projection of our precious star
to paint a refection on your infamous face.
In unison, we are the beautiful, bountiful, blissful universe.

I get lost in your enchantment.
I am recharged.

Did you know a healthy resting heart rate
is 120/60 mm Hg?
Well, it's a fact
and
I just realized what that feels like.

Shadows.

They bow with GRACE.




Golden in the distance... they disappear as they BLESS.

Instincts.

They stay strong when we play for no reason.




They help us know sincere connection and tell us to hold it close.




They help us find our message and let our spirit guide as we give it.




They help us find magic amongst strangers and late night bonfires.




They guide us to take a picture that wants to be in the competition.




They help us find glorious reflections in the smallest of spaces.

Innocence.

It only lasts as long as we protect it.




Once we have chosen to skip steps, it's hard to be sensitive to subtlety.




Once we have given away all we have to offer, there is very little left to wander through.




When we continue to be captivated by it...




...it rewards us with a moment that can only be felt, not spoken.

Now, hear.

We must decide on our own
to be FREE.
Nothing can shake us enough to fall apart
If we choose to be ALIVE.
No storm, no cage, no connection should weaken.

Bleeding and peeling is beautiful.
They need to happen in order
to GROW.

Whisper a moment...
and peel away for the SELF.

That pocket of dreams we carry
keeps us breathing with exuberance
when the agenda is PURE.

Follow the maps, dear one.
We will share more of our routes as we choose to smash T O G E T H E R.

Love.

The kind that you dedicate a lifetime to.




The kind that teaches you to accept your quirks.




The kind that keeps you in awe of nature.




The kind that gives you hope.




The kind that helps you become whole.

Ask yourself.

What does is cost to let go?




How did it appear?




Why do I feel so passionately about this?




Who is it for?

Everything, everywhere.

We can praise the icon, but how can we understand the man inside?




We can pray to angels, but how can we recognize them sitting right here?




We can see the beauty, but how can we learn to stare within?





We can dance to music, but how can we move our souls to transcend?

Harmony in freedom.

Entwined.

You hold my hand in woven devotion.
Without using shutters to see, your alluring
illustration is burned into my being.
I retrace the black strands that caress your
Goddess-mask chiseled of the purest clay,
as if the atoms are my own DNA.
I fly fluently with your
PLATINUM TIPPPED WINGS
sprawled beneath...
like freshly cleansed caramel sheets
I sink into before restful sleep.
Two sets of feet independently pedaling this soul.
Two sets of veteran thighs glimmering in tranquility.
Two sets of steady guns ending in delicate grips of honor.
ONE CENTER.
Emotionally united on this dark horse with belief.
We melt through a midnight tunnel,
gently lit by a contradiction of what was and WHAT IS...
I hear an echo of everything I've ever known
beating with radiant warmth,
like a scrim illuminated
by the silvery brightness of the moon's
INTENTION TO REVEAL.
Sand is not only tiny treasures of the Earth,
but a blanket of partnership with you.
Risks are blue cotton candy clouds suspending our womanhood,
aware that a spill just might buckle our joints.
But that's OK.
We'll simply extract nectar
from our fruit of
Jenallako LOVE...
and sip away each others pain
like a dewy, delightful cognac.

Yes.

Hey Mr. Man....

Do you ever spend time looking at yourself and the level you're on...the level your friends are on, the level of the partner you are with or will choose to be with?

Level, as in life experience...similar inner dialogue, curiosity about life, sense of humor, ability to show up when you need them or when they need you?

Yeah, yeah, I’m going off on the deep end....I do love to converse about people and where they are going...

Anyway, I ask because I'm totally aware that past partners and I were on totally different levels. I suppose that's why they are past partners. Do you believe two people can make a partnership work when there's a level difference? It's probably not as important to guys...all this mental jumbo. I can't help but wonder, what is your take on putting effort into analyzing stuff to see the way someone's brain works?

To understand triggers or hurtful things in someone's past that makes them shut down and how to release such walls to become free again?

To whittle away the armor to reveal a spirit in it's original form as to conquer anything one could want without limits?

To embrace the wonderful imprints our parents left and undo the harmful things for that is all they knew?

Does any of this stuff cross your thoughts?

Hey, if not....cool.
Maybe it's easier that way....

Hey, could you do me a favor? Would you throw me that blow up lounge chair?

Ahhhh.....thanks. My legs were getting a little tired from all the treading.

Acceptance.

A soul rained upon... will be cleansed in time and space.

A soul with a tormented past, needing to be nurtured and given time to trust in love, could block love if it doesn't feel safe. A mother, trying to protect her child, could instinctually identify a love thief and try to have them arrested. A jealous spirit, not wanting to see another be whole and happy, could try to manipulate with the power of suggestion. A moment in time of two souls entwined, surrendering deeply in love, could be brought an unforeseen separation. It's all a mystery. Until it's all revealed.

The only truth we have is the most pure understanding of our "self." The courage to face all of the fears. To learn how to ask for what we need. To learn to listen. Learn to speak our truth in the most awkward of moments. Make choices that appear to have holes to others. Yet, those holes may provide the very light we need for our eyes to see. Those holes may hold the light that heals us and sets us free in reflection.

I can not always explain what I know. Yet, I can explain it is ideal to be in a place where we find more acceptance with our differences, instead of always looking to the similarities to save us from what we don't want to see. To be in a place where the doubts are not about if we will compliment each other, but how we can successfully and consistently do so. What ever form or role we play, the respect and care of a fellow kind heart is the intension that matters most.

Seek, dear soul. I will also seek. For seekers we must remain for the unstoppable growth of US.

So many layers to this onion. This sweet onion. Let us fall in love with it's layers like it was the very first time.
I rest in silence today. My voice broken from meditation. Letting my soul be rained upon and cleansed....

a mighty factory on the detroit river.haven't seen this place before.
ahhhhh...
you say, I say
these vibrations sway from our mouths
our voices
we spill
we ignite
we ponder
we calm
we create legs to walk
we fall
we ahhhhhhh....
we ripple
we hurt
we spread wide
with woven wings
openly light our wicks
wicks that melt brightly
we laugh....
breathe each other in
we have no reference
you lift me and run
I become fearful
I want down
only to then,
sit in your lap
and kiss you on the cheek.
childhood guilt
you offer acceptance
concerns in you
concerns in me
we push each other
to do our best
infinite happiness
our wish
our gift
our own oasis
truth of you
truth of me
grounded when we want
floating without thought
so familiar
foreign on every level
everything stirred
no questions please.
ask everything you want to know...
we are dangerous
we are nurturing
we are taking risks
a life that is full
is risky
difficult
always.
what makes this different?
a test?
a trial?
simply natural.
simply f*&%ing unreal.
so right it feels wrong
internal issues
don't project
watch
listen
engage
participate
don't know how to let go...
show me the way.
let me be me,
you be you
let us be us.
pray for peace...
no room for "mind" here...
allow the storm to pass.
patience.
details everywhere
when you choose to see
not a cell untouched
overwhelming emotion
soul food you say.
soul food I agree.
this is ours
no one can take it
we own it.
do we really own anything?
this world that doesn't promise anything...
for it might "suddenly" disappear.
we can find comfort here
somehow
even with turmoil.
are you f@#%ing kidding me?
shut up!
let the dance go on...
I can not believe what we are learning.
what we will learn.
you.
me.
us.

a healing device on venice beach, ca.
a native of costa rica.
our family jewels.
the base of a palm tree at the egyptian theatre.
looking down a zip-line cable in costa rica.
one heck of an enticing sign on la cienega blvd.

surfer diva at manhattan beach pier.
lovely french lemonade on catalina island.
patti's clams.
ice very close up on a hot day in marblehead, ohio.
styrofoam kisses in "cold case" make-up trailer.
a very special lady in a very special bed.
franky's work of art.
the thief of my heart.
the ever gorgeous stoneleigh hotel in texas.

two great hunters in michigan.
a graceful ladybug in wildwood canyon, california.
the prep before the chapel in las vegas.
the danger after the chapel in vegas around 3am.
a bunch of fake tattooed hotties.
the tools of my favorite little gemini.
my favorite tree by the ocean.

Puzzle pieces.

As we allowed our ears to be enlightened tonight,
another chamber of my heart was opened...
you see, I have never wanted to be more
clean
pure
true
since I have been surrounded by the light in you.

As we embark on a new way of cleaning our palette,
we lace our tongues with wasabi...
to start fresh with infant souls tasting
for the first time.

I am preparing my map,
so you know where I've gotten lost when the signs were hazy
so you know where I'd like to go by offering suggestions of how to
help me
help us
find our way,
as one.

I do not deny that I have scars.
Yet, I find myself getting frustrated
with my smoke filled environment.
In my mind I ask,
"How can I offer the best me when I'm hurting me internally?"
This is not a plea for sympathy.
Simply my personal desire to be a role model completely.
To me.
To you.
To US.
I am committed to this path of letting go,
I am committed to this path of purity.
You are offering a space for acceptance of
pains of yesterday unconditionally.
These actions are giving me faith.
Faith that has been questioned profoundly,
Faith that redefines itself every moment by
your very existence right in front of me.

To be with you means I have a chance
to be the me I've always dreamed of.
To be with you means I have a co-pilot
supporting this drive with grace and dignity.

I have never seen compatibility
that bleeds more delicately
through veins that give life
to gifted souls like you and me.

There is not an alternative course of destiny
for me.
I want to know you are by my side through
all of life's little mysteries.

Blue.

I find myself surrounded by gorgeous females in my absolute favorite SUV in the world.
I call her "Blue".
Blue is the exact color, model and year of the Toyota 4Runner that I have dreamt of.
It took me years to find her.
She is the vehicle that now leads on many spontaneous adventures.
I am giddy from the sounds of my friend's inner voices.
Such intelligent, courageous and warm women I have in my life.
Their open hearts like anti-aging lotion upon my face.
Harmony's licks, the best puppy breath I could ask for.
Fully stocked with the finest cheeses, music, champagne and home videos to share around Midnight...
we climb this mountain to play in the magic of Big Bear.
It is in this moment, I recognize the reflections of today's truth...

Vulnerability
Sacred Wounds
Laughter
Chosen family
Receiving
Giving
Adoration
Nourishment

We offer the love of sisterhood.

Center.

your body floats underwater up there
you have found your dance of peace up there
the beautiful composition
accentuating the highest of highs
surrendering to the lowest of lows
you pulsate

so delicate with intention

so strong in your conviction

your eloquent mouth
sips the rhythm
it silently speaks
like koi in a freshwater pond…

you swallow
riding the energy with freedom
feeding your spirit with each beat of hand

we move with you

in that surrounding sea
of a thing
called the unexplainable magic of watching…

your essence
like the vapors off a hot asphalt road
creating this invisible sensation of love toward the divine
God, the crimson light from above!
bathed you like an angel last night

Sorry.

Ok, so this next post is going to be all about saying I'm sorry.

Aaaaaawwwhhhhh.....come on! We all LOVE to say "I'm sorry."
We all love to be wrong, right?
It feels GREAT to be wrong!

This time, I am asking you to think about being just that.
Wrong...and finding the courage to feel good about it.

We all know, deep inside, what moments we could have handled better.

Buy that card to give to someone and say it.

Say "I'm sorry."

Give someone space and distance because you're sorry.
Love yourself and surround yourself by things and people that feel good and fuzzy
and understand you in the middle of a storm...and say your sorry to yourself.

It's contagious.
I swear...
I feel relieved
knowing
someone expressing forgiveness in return....truly loves you back.

It can be outstanding to accept love and pain, together.
In our own way. In our own time.

An authentic sorry is priceless.
So are you when you offer one.

Infinite Grace.

Transformation.

Today
watching you work through your blockers
warming and stretching your
God given slender legs to exhaustion
filled with chocolate volcanoes
waiting to erupt
your skin begins to dew
flushed cheeks and knees
uneven in their disposition
(just like mine)
waiting to kick you into this next
elevation of plains filled with the
wildest of swaying vibrant flowers
screaming like popcorn turning in a microwave
pop
Pop
POP
God given strength
you can do it honey
it's in you
I believe in your blinding light
for it is mine
all that you dream of
get that burn
deep
with a smirk
no longer delicate
no longer baby these wounds
the pain is part of the process
the process is enjoying the earned pain
breath in the citrus air
meditate
getting older
get lost in the wall of flowing golden water
our experience leaves its mark
focus on the point of freedom ahead
we move on
we are not of this earth
we choose to partake
leaving our bodies behind
we move beyond the discomfort
to find comfort in the pain
you want it
you get it
you speak
you are everything
everything is you
you reach to touch my forehead
I inhale
I exhale
we breath
and stare.

Necessity.

It's so chilly in this place that
we dance with blankets draped about our bodies.
The shift in the sun's winter alignment (and your broken
thermostat)
will not stop our desire
to play.
The soft patterned fabrics of
coppery tiger's eye
blue lapis
dashes of red garnet
become capes that grant us special powers
like feathers of freedom.
As a tribe of four desert shamans,
this lovely circle,
a mirage of fire between us.
Medicine smoke rings seems to bloom
from our ceremonial beat,
sneaking into our hungry passageways...

BOOM-ba-boom-boom...BOOM-ba-boom-boom...

erratic jumps
God! the laughter!
hip checks
BOOm-ba-boom-boom
360 spins
air guitars
drums
BA BOOM!
Chanting an invoking verse to spirits before our time..
WWhhhhooooooo!! WHOHOO!!

We exhaust from this explosive energy field.
Behold! Our blanket troop extraordinaire tumbles
to the couch!
We calm to the sound of our spell casting breath...
The small of my back cradled by this couch.
I've got one leg bent behind me,
one foot solid on the floor.
You crawl into my space as if I am your cave.
My palm feeds off your beaded forehead,
like history drawn on the walls inside me.
I've got my other hand loosely tapping
my heartbeat
on your best friend's arm.
Perfectly balanced by a fourth...
a woman of character and beauty
resting to my side.
Time to sip mango margarita's
to help keep our cheeks blush,
our skin warm
as we continue to sing,
together.
We settle into this veleveteen tepee...
this campground of friendship,
and we share a story
or two
about life and how we fly high within.
You doze off to Neverland...
creating your own purr of snores.
I, tingling --
from your floating weight against me...
from listening to your friend's wise words...
from this pure vibration of an encounter.

Have we done this a zillion lifetimes before?

Crystalize.

Thoughts can blow your mind. Whooohhh...

Watching the patterns, the possibilities of the imagination, even more so. How about those moments when you catch yourself eating popcorn in the front row of the movie YOU are creating inside of your head? There is a whole word of senses and details and flashes and colors and smells and emotions that live right there, INSIDE…on the stage you build. This is the gift you begin with, wholeheartedly, as a child when you live to have tales read to you at night about “The Adventures of Mupi the Hippo” or "Ted the Monkey ". Mupi or Ted become your steady imaginary companion and guide you in the world as you explore. They become bridges in your mind to bravery and courage. Then, one day, someone may tell you you have an “over active imagination”. Someone may tell you it isn’t healthy to create such “ideas” and live in a world that “doesn’t really exist”.

I am truly sorry if someone ever told you to “stop that non-sense” instead of encouraging you to use this skill to make dreams become REAL. I am also sorry if you needed to create movies in your head to escape reality because it hurt too much to be there. I really do hate “imagination abuse”. Well, ok obvious, I really do hate any kind of abuse. It really is a pain in the ass to recover from. If abuse wins in any form, it can block you from so much beauty in the world. However, with work and forgiveness and belief and faith, imagination remains your steady friend to help you explore your beauty once again.

Imagination is where you get your dreams to take shape and develop flight. It’s like this built-in stomping ground to work out the quirks to find out what really makes you TICK. There is nothing like crying during the movie YOU create, sometimes laughing out loud, sometimes falling deeply in love…all alone…with that movie inside. You get to choose the players…so beautifully scripted and acted out within your own creation. Ooooohhhh…and the music…ahhh….the music! You get to choose the soundtrack that melts you into a little puddle. All the fine points are made by you.

So, dust off your seat in the front row of your life. With practice and time to overcome any fear…your free theater of thought and imagination will help you find the courage to bring your delights into reality. If you can imagine it, you can have it. Why would you settle for anything less?

Pieces.

Ohhhhhh...these particles of basic science can not be broken or understood in the world of chemistry -- the abstract element that gives us LOVE. L-O-V-E. We all know it. Some better than others. Some deeper and more twisted than others can ever imagine. Some more engaged, or jaded, or light and frothy than others. Some just don't feel, some ignore the feelings, some feel so much they have to look away, some feel and FEEL and keep feeling. That's the mystery.

Reality.

Belief.

Yours.

Now.

Photo courtesy of my friend, my guide...my mom.

Simple.

This is IT.
The perfect blend of yesterday, today and what's to come. It's all here before us. Hold my hand, sway in this hammock while I fall gently on your chest. Chase me up these stairs to the tree house and sit with me Indian style and laugh. Let's make a pile of these leaves and roll around in the sunshine like little fresh puppies. Psssssst...will you join me side by side and ride along these trails...breathe in this crisp country air? Let's stain our hearts with earthly love...

Open.

Be clear.
A reflection of a leader.
Focus on integrity.
Let us climb higher.
Be my opposite.
Fill where I lack.
Allow me to fill where you lack.
Let the joy play on.
How to ask for what I want?
I layed in the moonlight and let the shiny white light cleanse my soul to be pure for you.
I want to introduce you to
people and sit back and smile
as you tell your story.
You love hot cocoa and..
You.
You.
SHINE.

...stand still and let it come to me.
Speak my language...dare to teach me
new words and feelings I have
not yet touched...

Frost.

I find myself pacing...so very hard to stand still.
My favorite grey hoodie keeping my head warm as the crisp air creeps into open spaces.
My hands fisted inside these big soft pockets.
The world is so big.
So full of ideas and goals and things to touch while we know we are here.
This heart just wanting to remain open and warm.
This desire just wanting a place to find rest and be held.
I get lost in the details of what my eyes capture before me.
Nature's growth wrapped by the Earth's changing atmosphere.
My little Harmony roaming where her nose leads her.
The warmth of my breath creates a dance of fog around my face.
Yet, something is missing out here in the quietness.
Looking into your sage eyes is what I begin to dream of.
Feeling your hand touch my favorite spot on the back of my neck is what I really yearn for.

I stand now with my eyes resting behind their lids for a moment.
A tender mantra runs through my mind.

I slowly turn to walk back through the door.
I gently remove my loyal hoodie and shake off the chill.
I purposefully crawl under the covers again, Harmony by my side...
as a surge of heat cracks the cold surface.

You are resting RIGHT THERE.
I realize
I AM here with you now.

Finally.
I am still.

Will.

The dumbing down of love.
The clear past of seeing what this place
can do to you.
The bitter drops that fall with
violence,
loneliness...
Ego torn between...destroying it's balance.
Just think --
Life is a journey to bob on the surface,
like a fallen leaf, lifting or sinking with a gradual grace.
Only surrendering when the wave manipulates
an extreme attack of power.
Will I let it beat me?
YES.
Only to whip my head right back to where it began.
The reality is, I live to feel the extremes.
I will take the challenge like a knightly born dart
resting proudly in the bull's eye.

--snippet from "Surfing the Surface"

Politics.

What does it mean to protect and make something safe? What does it mean to honor a promise at all cost? More importantly, what does it mean to learn from mistakes?

Without action, none of these things mean a thing.

To protect and make something safe is the foundation of anything created.
Someone is counting on you to be there when they fall.

A promise is something you can not go back on if it isn't delivered.
Someone is waiting on the other side with an open heart to receive it.

A mistake is something we all make that has potential to turn into a lesson of love.
Someone is hurting and hoping you'll take responsibility of that wound.

Why are some lessons effortless and others we never learn at all? Why can we sometimes commit crime after crime, inflicting pain on ourselves and others? Is it possible to behave this way if we truly understood how it would hurt if the roles were reversed? Does a person with developed self-love behave like this?

What we need to believe in is not taught by others, it's not learned in books, it's not even found in a forest or the sky...
It's not found anywhere "out there" on this diverse planet.

What we need... is to take time... to believe in ourselves.
All of the answers come from way deep inside.
It has always been there and always will be.
It's our journey to find it....and believe in its tale.

Imagination.

Manifestation.

Dedication.

Reflection.

Them.

Such empowering darkness surrounds a man and woman. There they are, looking toward the universe, side by side. Both hungry from the soul, both magnetically drawn in this dream world escape. On the edge of a pier in blackness, they are swallowed by the vast blanket of ancestor stars and father moon. Soft tapping of the moving depth against the dock soothes any tension in their bodies. The crisp air brushes their skin as a brilliant display of glitter, dancing on the water, enhances the fire between their hearts. She wants nothing more than to hold him close...simply to explore the shape of his hand. Fascinated, he knows he has found his soul-mate. For once in her life, everything she wants to express, he expresses first.

Alone.
Together.

For one moment they own this little peace of the world.

Embedded.

You are inside of me, isn't that strange?
It's not as if I'm just familiar with you.
I am you.
Yet, I am me -- independent to shine my own light.

Sure, there is a loneliness between these distant planets...
a sadness is sometimes created by this separation

Yet, today
I see a pathway leading to a "someone" I couldn't even imagine before.

Moving.

Statement.

There is nothing more intoxicating, more inspiring than witnessing someone's creativity. People, or spirits as I like to call us, have unlimited recourses to communicate and express. All we need is a little belief, desire and a plan to perfect our skils to get there.

I was walking down my little neighborhood, doggie by my side, and stumbled upon multiple gold painted objects. Shoes, clocks, shelves (the list goes on)... scattered about every ten feet or so. Each object encompassed a vision with a mission -- to let others know about something special that began on the inside and couldn't wait to be seen on the outside. I found myself stopping in my tracks at the edge of this boot, envisioning the spirit or group of spirits brainstorming on how they could translate to the world. How could they catch attention to share? I could almost hear the ideas flying into words, "boo's" and "ahh's" filling the space with direction...ideas transforming into other ideas as they felt magnetic or useless. One by one, ideas held focus or were thrown away. With passion and effort, one idea would ultimately win and tell the whole story.

I then smiled and shook my head. I remembered in that moment how anything worth beginning starts with one little idea that may never even be used...yet, that's how something blooms. To THAT idea, I blow a "Midnight Kiss".

Permission.

You have to admit, it's a little strange when we can start to warn ourselves that we may be wearing rose colored glasses. Everything seems to become more factual as we mature, right? More black and white. Things become more manageable and clear. Well, at least I think we hope they do. It's hard to strip an active imagination from what is really in front of us instead of seeing what we wish they could be. It takes work to pay attention to every detail and be truthful all of the time. Especially since our "truths" can vary drastically and oftentimes they can hurt. I wonder if we risk loosing a certain allure about life if we are too focused on having answers to our experiences. Sometimes we can create such a structured formula to protect ourselves from the unknown. Yet, isn't the magic dancing in the unknown? In any case, our observations tell us a lot about who we are.

Well...

When you take a good look at this picture, what is your eye drawn to? The relaxed majestic jaw structure? The soft slope of the bridge leading to the nose tip? The charming crooked smile that presents a humble mouth and teeth that are happy to say hello? Maybe it's the sculpted lines of the ear that offer sound...or how about the overall feeling of the image? Or maybe, just maybe, your eye is drawn to the rose colored glasses and the story they reveal...

Above.

Did you know you would weigh less on the top of a mountain than at sea level? For those seeking the higher levels in life, this is some good scientific information to ponder. You know why? It makes every uncomfortable moment worth it. It merges science with spirituality. There are so many examples of when we give up right when things get tough, really unbearable...if only we had taken that last painful moment for it is almost ridiculous how that last step leads to the very euphoria we were seeking. You know deep inside there is always a voice that speaks very loudly...the one that says, "You can't do it. Just stop here and turn back." You also know deep inside there is a counteractive voice that says, "This ain't no thing. You've got what it takes to supersede." The wisdom we are left with? Life is simply a choice of which voice to listen to. It becomes obvious that establishing a practice to lift that higher voice in strength is the answer to this lightness we seek. The very steps we take to open our doors the moment we wake. That moment when our eyes flutter open in a new blessed day and our thoughts start racing...we have that choice to take a moment to inhale deeply and stretch each muscle we've been blessed with...take that extra minute to look around and absorb all that we've already accomplished to be alright...smell the sweetness of being alive. From the clothing that may be laying on our floor, to the water you just may have set next to your bed if you need a sip during the night. It's all us...it's all you....and YOU are beautiful just the way you are. Know that you deserve to sit on top of that gorgeous mountain and let it all go.

Dream.

Reach for that desire inside little simple one.
Feel the light tread of feet so small...
follow a clumsy trail as your balance is developed.
Every awkward step is like a masterpiece on display in a famous museum.
In your hands is a free ride of pleasure and the cost is nothing but affection.
Like a discovered rusted key...your gleaming eyes unlock the gate that was temporarily forgotten.
You share the magic pink plastic propeller that effortlessly spins
as people three times your size take the time to blow wishes upon it.
In that one moment, they loose their composure...
they bend down and get a dizzy sensation when you smile in return.
You utter with inaudible excitement as it twirls from their breath.
You jump
You sing
You touch
What seems like more power than a bull dozer moving concrete,
your arms wrap around a neck to secure your warm love.
A moving force of pure unity from where it all begins to become one.
Now that's fast acting relief
that should never be bottled.

Awe.

A silent strength of warmth.
A place to dissolve all the voices we have within.
Must we work so hard for the chance to let the "selves" connect to one another? The duality we harbor inside wants to become one.

We were taught by those that were taught by another, who in turn were also taught by someone else.
How do we find the true essence of "I" within all of these imprints?

Searching. Searching. Searching.

In a moment of complete surrender, we no longer search for it's all inside.
When we think of a kite, it goes against the very resistance it is placed within to soar the sky.
It uses the force to merge with flight.
Opposing energies attract when it's the right fit.
There's a place of comfort when we step into our power.
Sometimes we must teach ourselves again how that feels.
Sometimes we must break free of lessons that are not meant for us to learn -
and gain wisdom from the lessons that are.

Distance.

How is it possible after a decade to still remember a smell?
Strange how it can trigger an entire decade of innocence and hands that hold like glue from the damp of newness.
It's like dancing behind frosted dreams all of your life.
The glow coats pain with streamers of silent pleasure.

So easy to only see doubt instead of whisper an abundance of rose petals.
So many stop lights in this world today to shadow fantasy with red reality.

Yet, doesn't it take courage to follow a fantasy?
Ohhhh....and doesn't it take even more courage still to wake if it is fiction?

Yes, I remember now.

It hurts so very much when we fall from candy clouds and castles.
Our shiny costumes become torn, our skin wounded...
Our horses, scratched, over and over as we tumble down to Earth.

Psssssssttttt.....who cares?
Can't we just love an imperfect Prince or Princess anyway...and still live the perfect dream down here?

Grounded.

Tree of life...your nature offers comfort, simplicity.
Only the basics I need to be unrestrained, spontaneous and playful in this life.
There is a profound connection to self and others when in your presence.
Tranquility in belief that everything is going to be ok.
I find myself breathing easily, with peace and acceptance of my life and I feel
centered
with grace and ease...
Living this life fully with my mind, body and soul.
Fully blooming on all levels.
Unconditional love creates sensitivity to absolute self acceptance and acceptance of others.
Selfless love is shown with acknowledging your gut choices, abilities...your integrity.
It's a willingness to sacrifice oneself knowing you won't be lost...
This...
is absolute self trust.
This...
is my value tree.

Happy IndepenDANCE.

Lift.

I am stunned.
No...no..better description for this...
I am in shock.
I desperately lean into a small familiar space painted with doubt.
I just may fall into a silence I can not leave.
I can choose to feel alone and let these lies absorb...
all the while my face struggles to find the warmth in the sun.
I could fall to a place of silence I will never leave.
It is so still in this movement...all I can do is wrap my knees with my arms,
continue to remind myself to sip the air,
keep my eyes wide open.
There is this vibration all around me that can not be denied.
My sips become shallow.
Do I like this? Do I attract this?
It's like one of those leather seats in a car wash
you feed with dollar after dollar
numb out while you wait for your vehicle to be polished.
Just one more dollar while I wait...
I can continue to pay,
or do nothing.
I can connect to you and find the beliefs that make me present for free.
They are only beliefs I have adopted,
yet those very beliefs are what can make me joyous and whole,
not hateful and empty.
I decide to dial in...and you are there...
like the magical sound of a cork seeping out of home at the top of golden champagne!
You are there to offer me a ticket to explore my bliss...
your voice holds the confirmation of unconditional understanding.
My shock becomes a distant memory dissolved in sparkling water balanced with lime.
Before me, a view as vast as the destiny of a brand new textured sketch pad.
I am once again carried to the adventure of laughing
for no reason at all.

Cracks.

They say the true measure of a man lies in controversy and conflict...not in comfort and convenience.

Isn't it amazing what we learn in moments of adversity? Isn't it a gift in disguise when we find out what we are made of during times when we are lost? In those moments, we have the chance to see our capability to overcome.

Sure. We have the choice to shut down and run away...sometimes that's exactly what we should do to honor ourselves and use our experience to self protect. Hmmmmm...how does Kenny Rogers put it?

"You got to know when to hold em, know when to fold em, know when to walk away and know when to run."

Yeah...that's what I'm talking about.

Dare you to hold em, know when to fold em, know when to walk away and know when to run.

May we find the cracks of our souls, celebrate them and...LISTEN.

Air.

Let
Freedom
Comfort
Clarity
Flow...
Respect for your authenticity.
Respect for mine.
Let
Us
Live
Limitless.

Music.

I pause to remember the way you touched her, the way you made her laugh and smile, the way you looked at her after all of these years. The way you two kept love alive after all of the war. The way you could give each other a hard time because you knew each other so well and how hard to push. She is no longer here. There are many nights I cry in her absence. I can only imagine what that has been like for you. Those haunting blue eyes hold so much inside. Yet, you live on. You LOVE on. I know she's smiling at your happiness today. You have since allowed your heart to love deeply again. Such a wonderful woman you have found companionship with. You show me the courage it takes to continue to feel the magic. The magic of being here, NOW. The strength it takes to believe. To believe in joy. The music you continue to create in gratefulness of being ABLE to create it. Opa...you are a mystery in so many ways. Your voice holds the warmth of those fields that were so cold when you needed to feed your family. You are such an incredible spirit. So real and raw with places I can only hope to reach. Jacob, this one is for you and all you have become. All that you are to my mother and to this family. I love you.

Mother Earth.

He climbs the pebble foot steps God created.
The eyes,
so many hues alive.
The song of the tide,
melts my dismay.
Have Faith -- he will bring him in on a wave...
crash him to the shore I can only touch on this side of Mother Earth.
Not all is made for TV.
Maybe you and me will loose interest on this commercial break.
Ohhhhh....love only true in Thee.
Bend in and let go of formality.
Skim the vibration.
It's never rigid in momentum.
The book of love will open, be broken in with time.

Time is on our side.

Have you ever taken a sip of beauty where Sunset meets the PCH?

Happy Birthday Baby.

Fire.

How does one fully understand the power of it? How does one learn to stand back and admire its strength without getting too close? How does one learn to contain it without containing its freedom? It is passion. It is beauty. It is what makes us all want to live for tomorrow. It is subtle. It is dangerous when out of control. It is serene. It is cruel. It is warmth. It is a tool for nourishment. Sometimes all I can do is watch it and realize the only control I have is to let it be what it is. Sometimes all I can do is understand the desire inside me replicates the need for oxygen to burn. Sometimes I can envision the swaying of its power nestled inside my ribcage when I create. Sometimes the burn is the very thing that makes me feel alive and leaves me wanting more.

Water.

As I relax here, surrounded by fun little bubble dances, I gaze at the woman that made me. Not a care in the world but which corner to bathe in as to see the gorgeous trees that cuddle our view. The rest of my family gathered inside...making breakfast...the smells taunt our noses and their giggles become our distant music. The magical woods of Yosemite is our setting. This is our trip to spend time being thankful of our intimate bond, our circle created by time and love and understanding. My family, together, as one.

Promise.

It only takes one spirit to truly understand…
As another spirit slowly steps out of the unnecessary shadows of suffering
the unnecessary stresses
Taught many moons ago

Wow…
The process of extracting the arrows
of this material world
the times a spirit cries to feel warm
to feel the waters welcome again…

I discover there are arms that offer such unconditional love
My eyes squint as I soak in the light of
The two
of you.

This is the way to loose the bewilderment
This is the way to purify the vision
Of breathing
Of playing
Of loving
Of exploring

Without judgment
With nothing but encouragement that
We are all worth being wrapped in a sweet confection of trust
Like the floating puffy clouds in dreamland…

Wake up
Wake up
Wake up

Kinship of left palm and right
In this lifetime
Heal.

Self.

Slithering in a slow motion orbit as my damp
ballet slipper painted
Fingertip
touches the fuzzy warm surface of real time...
As if in an underworld of wetness,
I crawl horizontally by the buoyancy of my solid structure.
Blush lips caught in a plastic mold
mid-expression…
I absorb
without breath.
--snippet from "Sunday: my favorite moment of the week"

Happy Rebirth.

Renewal.

This extra hour of light begins the beginning of renewal towards the light. Have you ever stopped and said, "God...I miss me"? How does it happen that we can miss something that never goes anywhere? We are always here...now. How can you miss something that has never left?

God and me. Me and God are one.

I move forward with gratefulness to this breath that expands my lungs. I close my eyes and visit the darkness that is boundless. I revisit what I need to rebuild this spine that holds the strength of my frame. The foundation of what reveals character and flexibility. I call to the stillness in being. In this moment, I have found there is no more difficult task than to just "be".

Spirit.

"Cleansing the days activities
in a way that simply feels divine.
Ahhh....just knowing you hover...
that unconditional harbor
to set sail,
a liquid trance,
I can chance a
landing
without ropes or bumpers.
A safe docking always prevails."
--snippet from "Moomau"

Favorites.

"You teach me companionship. Numerous ways you soften the blow. I was incredibly invigorated today with growth. With LIGHT. Thank you thank you thank you for your words, your poetry in motion, your creativity with insight. Insight to life. To living. To breathing. To being. To being new today. Keep it coming. We don't know. We have no way of controlling what's to be. That's not the point. That's the reason to live. Not to control life. To explore a world that can seem already figured out. Everything already DONE. Nothing has been done for us. WE do it. Now. This moment."

Seeds.

"...to preserve the magic of love at first sight. These bones...they get fragile and weak. This mind...sometimes gets terribly forgetful and numb. This space...may be the saving grace of what's yet to come. Proven. The true love that stands the test of time will never fade. No matter how impossible the challenges it faces may seem. The trick is to let the challenges be. Take time to grow into the skin we've chosen. Spin about the earth to deepen the gifts we've been given."

Heart.

"…walked down another trail on the grounds…so silent
so black velvety dark…Such comfort. Alone.

Propped myself up on an incline on the grass. My body dormant, laying, reclining.
Can’t hear anything… silent… my inner thoughts revealed.

Moon laced with a sheer scrim of gaseous clouds
--lifting any weight of the world--
soon dissolved to bless my eyes with Orion
(Beetlejuice in the middle…where I am from,
according to a childhood friend).

Suddenly a strong vision of you and I sitting on a cold concrete division of water and land,
now holding each other,

I feel you entwined in me.

Conducting the heat of mutual warmth…Baja…Ojai…in my mind.
Listening to the gorgeous air, breathing in the ocean.

Pains in my heart…the loss…the gain

Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…
hear the birds flying in the blackness?
Enjoying the journey of flying in harmony?

Absolutely mezmorizing…hmmmmmmm…
what a treat to treat the SELF."

Shield.

In so many ways we are the same.
Our past makes us
scared to be vulnerable
scared to give up our control.


YET

The armor we wear makes one miss the whole joy of living.
It is our choice to break through.
You see, these tigers...
they are only made of paper
once we push through the fear.

Patience.

"My embrace was open in my mind but trapped
like a wax statue in that moment.
I took you in with silence. With stillness.
Roles of the Lioness and the Lion.
Roles of King and Queen.
Roles of Huntress and Hunter.
I will never stop at anything but this."

Fall.

I sit
slightly comforted
by the soft snapping of melting snow.
A brush of invisible flakes
tease
my uncovered flesh.
You slip into thought--
our dance loosens my chilled lips
Exhilaraton grows
like orange and magenta
reaching around peaks
of distant mountains.
Your hands protrude like bare
limbs topped with pure
WHITE
I know you're wanting me
TONIGHT.

Happy mistakes.

Amazing blurry revolutions create
A slick circle of fiery flashes.
Emotion felt so strongly like
Magnets drawn so close.
Delicately squeeze the supple
Rubber that tops a glass droplet
Containing Black
Containing Red
With YOU the amount is perfect.
Perfectly imperfect....

Burst.

Your animation is one that moves
like the trance waves pouring
from an electronic device
requiring voltage to alter
the light
So superficial and lifeless without
its source of power
its source of ignition

So...we plug in...softly...
we dance...

To physically be a part of
A melody
Skin wrapped around
Data
as one

First.

"You can feel it
now
Locked
Purple Passion has
found its key
Can you hear me now?
Listen to the silence of my soul
I await your dripping eyes
with adoration
Sexy Sensual storms are
caught within you
Soon again to pour upon
my nakedness"

Words.

Think about them.

One.

"The flowers can be stolen to place behind a deaf ear.
I am the only one who can differentiate,
Use my integrity to identify the thieves,
Ask them to lovingly leave the land.
My Garden will be ruined
if I do not save it..."
--snippet from "This is my garden"

Then.

"A light seems to find its way into your brown spheres
They twinkle into my mouth
My tongue covered in their warm coconut confection
I am not afraid, my love
The spice of chili paste is still heavenly
This is me, emotional and raw
I have nothing to hide anymore."
--snippet from "Chili Paste"

Separation.

"... dissipate and fade off into the mist, erase the separation of sky and kiss the waters gold cellophane cover. Combining all those eclectic ingredients to gently melt and shape this layer that stops the entanglement of oil and water..."
--snippet from "Cellophane"

Sage.

"A shadow of fuzzy moss clouds my eyes
Sacred sage water seeps without control
The spot right under my breast aches
You place your hand upon this vessel
to soothe the unsettled spirit inside
Across this table of natures tree
You breathe
Your branches give my weak frame a place to melt into
This rigid chair offers hope
To sit straight and tall
With dignity."
-- snippet taken from "Chili Paste"

Layers.

"...I really enjoy the idea of peeling the layers of an onion in communication. obviously the closer we get to the center, the more we are moved to tears because we slowly took the time to look at the texture and color and substance... and it builds the intensity of whatever the heck it is that makes your eyes water the closer you get to the stinging core. well, it's like that if it is meant to get that deep of course."

Fly.

"In all that we are...way deep inside...we seem to be teaching each other to strengthen the levels that we are not. it's not that we are not...it's simply that we choose to let certain pebbles at the bottom of our crystal rivers to remain too far from the brilliant warmth of the surface. pebbles that gleam with necessary colors...pebbles that can easily shift and shake safely with the increasing power of this here water that's picking up speed of evolution. i say speed of evolution because we have allowed each other to begin a new trust of self-reflection. i now know, spirits need other like spirits to excel."

Zoom Out.

I am above the world with a buoyancy feeling.
My body loosely clothed in colorful fabrics
That allow me to fly
So high I can see the curvature of the
Atmosphere in white
and faded blues...
Eye to eye
I walk on a tightrope
That extends beyond my vision of
Where it begins
Can't look back to see where it ends...
That could jeopardize my balance.
My arms extend full airplane to right and left
They dance with the rhythm of my feet
Forward motion
So high
I pause to look below
The surface that nurtures life
The patterns represent the squares
We have carved out as humans
Structured boundaries of yours and mine.

Dark angel.

"A dark horse of magnitude that only dreams are made of.
Galloping in a wild field of
peaches and sweet onions.
We are innocent helium filled children
drowsy with giddy vanilla aroma...
adorned with cherry polka-dot ribbons...
our stems entwined.
Words spill out of your succulent lips
like lessons...
exhaling
from an ancient scripture."
-- snippet taken from "Jenallako"

Growing up.

"Can't wait for you to leak out from the shadows of that doorway...
But even without you here, the postal service is delivering.
Am I manifesting a special delivery from the spirit of your elegant purlieu?
Cuz you're not here.
Your mouthful of air is in another section.
I visit like a ghost."
-- snippet from "Purlieu of Vytas"

Expecting.

Shadows.

"I awake. i know i'm awake, but i still wonder if i'm dreaming...my hair with a certain scent...one that's new...undefined in this newness...

still in this morning haze, i sneak out of my cloud filled resting place to get that joe started that i love so-sooooo-sooooooooo.

on my trip back to my favorite nuzzle place, the one kept unmade so i can relish another moment (or two) against my chilly skin...and this scent....hhhhmmmmm...... i notice lined pages of yellow resting by my favorite book of abundance.

i read. i absorb. i feel. i am moved. i lay down.

i wasn’t dreaming. i shared a dreamy experience...with another dreamy spirit."

Stained.

Band of love.

7.30.07

Duality.

"We all wear masks. some, a lot less that others. some, more. the closer we become to honoring our authentic self...the self that was born possibly lifetimes ago, before the shaping of our zillion dances before...the more responsibility we have to surround them with a nurturing environment to shine with this vulnerable core. in kind, offer that nurturing environment when available. when all masks are revealed, it's a very challenging existence. it takes bravery and courage and not a care in the world with the risk of being squashed. no attachments. no expectations. we are so quick to categorize by nature."

Sparkle.

"Self love...
I care for it like
the rarest of exotic flowers...
all it's colors dangerous in saturation.
Colors so bright it hurts with intensity...
sparks so explosive it swims with emotion,
condensation so delectable
one yearns to taste its every playful dewdrop.
Roll around in its wetness like
an energetic spotted puppy."
-- snippet taken from "You darling"

Surface.

I chose this mirror.
I had a deep desire to explore
the nicks, divots, the grime
clinging to the surface.
I wanted to face its dingy dark complicated mask.
Force to sip down
sip down
Down came the rain.
Heavy, uncomfortable shift
of control.
Forced from my Alpha throne
cast in precious metals
I tarnish with plastic compassion.
That little boy...
his mission to proselytize...
is so much stronger
than my voice.

Suspended.

Inside scoop.

"As our journey is vast, so is the capacity to love. the variations like a kaleidoscope, the depth like the core of our planet. i awaken with a calm breath...peaceful limbs, and a rested spirit. the moments of detailed memories begin to create a history of us. the bond we embrace of friendship, as lovers, as companions...we explore while our potential glimmers. the ways in which we broaden our experiences by caring and challenging is one heck of a gift. god blessed us last night...you giving, me receiving....me surrendering, you channeling. thank you for speaking without sound, moving me to places only trust can offer. gratitude. pure joy. inside and out."

Float.

11.13.06

Openings.

"It's amazing how one conversation can change an entire course that a ship was sailing on...how suddenly the sails flip to another direction carried swiftly by the strong wind that shapes them, molds their course of destiny to another place in time. to another understanding of where the ship needs to be led to next."

Forgiveness.

11.16.07

Little Angels.

4.14.07

H20.

10.27.07

Harmony.

9.9.07

Infinity.

3.18.07

Twins.

1.31.07

Preparation.

7.4.07

Something blue.

6.9.04

Poppa, hold me.

4.7.06

Source.

6.28.06

Home.

8.18.03

Forever.

12.8.03

Tools.

11.17.06

Beginning.

4.20.07

Unexpected.

3.24.07

Sarina.

7.10.06

Guts.

11.03

I found my legs.

"My feet kiss upon your deep chocolate wrapped floor...
It's surface as sexy as a man who knows the power of his spirit.
The music you play like a drug
I can't stop,
DON'T WANT TO STOP TAKIN IN...
This wave of data you've graced my ears with...
For it seeps inside so joyfully."
-- snippet taken from "Purlieu of Vytas"

The start.

"The rich yellow glow of the sleepy lights makes this cove of love softly drizzel,
Yellow silk wrapped walls shower my senses.
I imagine how you are holding the glass right now...
Do you tip it when you place the liquid inside?
Do you watch how the water fills the empty space?
Watch the transparent replenishment take shape?
As a dancer, my toes grin on this ground of delusion...
It's sensuality shooting through my muscles, making me sway
Like a rare saltwater creature."
-- snippet taken from "Purlieu of Vytas"